Two days after the fever broke I decided that I needed to lay in the sun. Very slowly I climbed the steps up to the roof parapet. Shaking from the effort I lay on the concrete wall. I fell asleep. I rolled over and woke suddenly as I fell off my perch. And thought I was falling 20' to the concrete courtyard. I yelped "Oh shit!" as I fell 18" to the ground. How holy was that? I laughed and laughed. Gandhi said "Ram Ram" as he was shot. There was the difference between holy and my fake holy. It took weeks before I was able to function normally. But that close to death, and the focus on death, and the pain experienced all changed my life. I was prepped for death from here on, so all I had to do was to live.
- "Everything you need is provided."
- "Everything you are looking for you will find."
- "Everything you are looking for is divine."
The place I was living was provided, what I was looking for I was finding, and this looking place was a holy spot with an altar and all.
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